Van Helsing (PG-13)
A Review
By M. Chad Durham
Why is it critics praise movies the masses hate and cut-down those that are sure-fire crowd pleasers? I mean, who doesn’t want to see Hugh Jackman and Kate Beckinsale fighting werewolves, vampires, and monsters galore? In 2003, Jackman was Wolverine—now he’s getting hairy again and Beckinsale played a vampire hunting down lycans (that’s another name for werewolves) to the point of extinction—now she wants to kill her own kind as well? Oh, the humanity! Or, inhumanity as the case may be. As an avid movie fan I couldn’t wait to see them pair-up to take on some major literary foes. But, as a critic?
Van Helsing begins impressively with a black and white sequence set in Castle Frankenstein. How did the goodly, albeit psychotic, doctor transport his castle to Transylvania? Who cares! Maybe Marry Shelly lied to us all those years ago? Don’t bother with trifles because this film is the sort of flair that requires us to suspend disbelief and check our brain at the door. The creation and subsequent lynching of the monster reminiscences the glory days of silver screen; Friday night at the drive in, or Saturday afternoon at the matinee, take your pick. The entire sequence is homage to those who have gone before and I found myself giddy with anticipation.
At this point I should offer a friendly reminder: hype gleans disappointment. This movie was shamelessly plugged from the Super Bowl unto its initial theatrical release and my expectations continued to grow with each passing day. I love vampire movies. I love comics. I love literature.
I love Kate Beckinsale! Given the circumstances I was sure to come away with at least a measure of disappointment. Nonetheless there I was, sitting in that crowded theatre all the same delighted to be there.
After Castle Frankenstein, the movie shifts to Van Helsing’s final battle with Mr. Hyde. Yes, there is more to the story here. These two have fought before (see animated film Van Helsing: The London Assignment, available now on home video), and the CGI contrasts greatly from the throwback we’d been presented with only moments before. It became apparent then that this film is going to have a few problems.
Namely this: should Van Helsing spawn a sequel I really have to wonder what would happen next. By the end of the film everybody is dead including all the wrong characters.
Of course Van Helsing, “The Left Hand of God,” still remains. This is the very heart of the problem with the film—there are too many monsters and players in this extravaganza. Mr. Hyde; at least three werewolves; Dracula, his three brides, their devilish offspring, and countless minions; Dr. Frankenstein, his monster; The Valarious Clan, The Knights of the Holy Order, and The Vatican come together to make this a very busy film. In this case, more is less. Stephen Sommers’ script breaks just about every rule in the book and this grand spectacle is precisely the kind of thing that eventually sent Batman on hiatus at Warner Brothers. If you put all the bad guys together in one film, who does the good have left to fight?
Oh but what fun it is to break the rules! The chaos of this story, the cheesy dialogue, and the fact that only Van Helsing’s character is essential and sacred to sequel makes watching this film a fun, if not bumpy, ride. Van Helsing is a giant garbled mess but that’s the very thing that makes Van Helsing a tad-bit unpredictable. I find myself feeling guilty for bashing it simply because it’s the kind of special effects-laden escape from reality we’ve all been waiting to see. In spite of its shortcomings, Van Helsing thrills and from that standpoint alone it will not disappoint.
Nor do Jackman and Beckinsale leave us wanting. They deliver every line, every blow, every wire-hanging moment with Shakespearean grace even though the material is lacking.
I’ve come to expect no less from Beckinsale. She’s a rising talent of note who can play just about any role sporting any accent you please.
Richard Roxbourgh is campy as Dracula, but he’s always campy and I’m sure that’s why Sommers gave him the part—he is just too much fun.
Van Helsing deserves its PG-13 rating, although not necessarily for gore. Audiences have come to expect gruesomeness in its monster movies, but not in a Stephen Sommers’ film. The violence and creature effects are comparable to his other films—The Mummy and The Mummy Returns. If you’ve seen these then you’ll have a pretty good idea of what to expect in Van Helsing.
Otherwise the film earns this rating based on a few choice words, some sexual innuendo and tension between the two main characters (Jackman and Beckinsale), and more cleavage than I’ve seen on film in at least dozen years.
Between Ana Valarious (Beckinsale) and Dracula’s three brides (Elena Anaya, Josie Maran, and Silvia Colloca), Van Helsing is an extremely bouncy affair. Leave the little ones at home for this one.
By M. Chad Durham
Why is it critics praise movies the masses hate and cut-down those that are sure-fire crowd pleasers? I mean, who doesn’t want to see Hugh Jackman and Kate Beckinsale fighting werewolves, vampires, and monsters galore? In 2003, Jackman was Wolverine—now he’s getting hairy again and Beckinsale played a vampire hunting down lycans (that’s another name for werewolves) to the point of extinction—now she wants to kill her own kind as well? Oh, the humanity! Or, inhumanity as the case may be. As an avid movie fan I couldn’t wait to see them pair-up to take on some major literary foes. But, as a critic?
Van Helsing begins impressively with a black and white sequence set in Castle Frankenstein. How did the goodly, albeit psychotic, doctor transport his castle to Transylvania? Who cares! Maybe Marry Shelly lied to us all those years ago? Don’t bother with trifles because this film is the sort of flair that requires us to suspend disbelief and check our brain at the door. The creation and subsequent lynching of the monster reminiscences the glory days of silver screen; Friday night at the drive in, or Saturday afternoon at the matinee, take your pick. The entire sequence is homage to those who have gone before and I found myself giddy with anticipation.
At this point I should offer a friendly reminder: hype gleans disappointment. This movie was shamelessly plugged from the Super Bowl unto its initial theatrical release and my expectations continued to grow with each passing day. I love vampire movies. I love comics. I love literature.
I love Kate Beckinsale! Given the circumstances I was sure to come away with at least a measure of disappointment. Nonetheless there I was, sitting in that crowded theatre all the same delighted to be there.
After Castle Frankenstein, the movie shifts to Van Helsing’s final battle with Mr. Hyde. Yes, there is more to the story here. These two have fought before (see animated film Van Helsing: The London Assignment, available now on home video), and the CGI contrasts greatly from the throwback we’d been presented with only moments before. It became apparent then that this film is going to have a few problems.
Namely this: should Van Helsing spawn a sequel I really have to wonder what would happen next. By the end of the film everybody is dead including all the wrong characters.
Of course Van Helsing, “The Left Hand of God,” still remains. This is the very heart of the problem with the film—there are too many monsters and players in this extravaganza. Mr. Hyde; at least three werewolves; Dracula, his three brides, their devilish offspring, and countless minions; Dr. Frankenstein, his monster; The Valarious Clan, The Knights of the Holy Order, and The Vatican come together to make this a very busy film. In this case, more is less. Stephen Sommers’ script breaks just about every rule in the book and this grand spectacle is precisely the kind of thing that eventually sent Batman on hiatus at Warner Brothers. If you put all the bad guys together in one film, who does the good have left to fight?
Oh but what fun it is to break the rules! The chaos of this story, the cheesy dialogue, and the fact that only Van Helsing’s character is essential and sacred to sequel makes watching this film a fun, if not bumpy, ride. Van Helsing is a giant garbled mess but that’s the very thing that makes Van Helsing a tad-bit unpredictable. I find myself feeling guilty for bashing it simply because it’s the kind of special effects-laden escape from reality we’ve all been waiting to see. In spite of its shortcomings, Van Helsing thrills and from that standpoint alone it will not disappoint.
Nor do Jackman and Beckinsale leave us wanting. They deliver every line, every blow, every wire-hanging moment with Shakespearean grace even though the material is lacking.
I’ve come to expect no less from Beckinsale. She’s a rising talent of note who can play just about any role sporting any accent you please.
Richard Roxbourgh is campy as Dracula, but he’s always campy and I’m sure that’s why Sommers gave him the part—he is just too much fun.
Van Helsing deserves its PG-13 rating, although not necessarily for gore. Audiences have come to expect gruesomeness in its monster movies, but not in a Stephen Sommers’ film. The violence and creature effects are comparable to his other films—The Mummy and The Mummy Returns. If you’ve seen these then you’ll have a pretty good idea of what to expect in Van Helsing.
Otherwise the film earns this rating based on a few choice words, some sexual innuendo and tension between the two main characters (Jackman and Beckinsale), and more cleavage than I’ve seen on film in at least dozen years.
Between Ana Valarious (Beckinsale) and Dracula’s three brides (Elena Anaya, Josie Maran, and Silvia Colloca), Van Helsing is an extremely bouncy affair. Leave the little ones at home for this one.RENTAL
This copyrighted article was also published in Grace-Centered Magazine - A daily publication for Christians that examines tradition and aspects of living the Christian life.
It also appeared at ibelieve.com.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home