Waiting on Deck

Now playing at a theatre near you!

Anacondas (PG-13)
Starring: Johnny Messner, KaDee Strickland, and Matthew Marsden
Director: Dwight H. Little

Wasn't it bad enough somebody made Anaconda? Have you no mercy?

At any rate, in this pitiful flick unworthy of sequel, a scientific expedition heads to the jungle looking for a black orchid said to hold the key to immortality and youth. Gag! Unfortunately, when they finally find this mystical flower they realize somebody else is already using its potency. You guessed it--a whole bunch a big snakes. Go figure.

Just the title is the most awful thing I've read all week, Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid. Yeah, like that's gonna gloss it all up and make us forget that the original was strictly B-rate material.

Excluding the three men who authored the first Anaconda, there are three more who came up with this brainchild of a story and four who actually penned the screenplay. Oh well, at least an entire army of writers were gainfully employed these past few years putting this hunk-of-junk together.

Suspect Zero (R)
Starring: Aaron Eckhart, Ben Kingsley, and Carrie-Anne Moss
Director: E Elias Merhige

A serial killer is on the loose hunting... other serial killers. However, the FBI is reluctant to capture this particular killer because he just might lead them to Suspect Zero, a guy responsible for hundreds of murders. Eckhart is a G-man and Kingsley a former Hoover-boy suspected of killing the killers.

I must say that this premise for this film is at the very least something new and different. That and the prospect of seeing Kingsley as a killer has captured my interest. I may try to talk the wife into the taking me this weekend.