Waiting on Deck

Shaun of the Dead (R)
Starring: Simon Pegg, Kate Ashfield, and Nick Frost
Director: Edgar Wright

I can't remember the last time I wanted to see one of the films held back in limited release more than a film going nationwide, but this weekend is just such the case as Shaun of the Dead headlines as my most anticipated film. There is no more adorable actress on the planet than Katie Holmes, but even she can't compete with the walking dead.

First Daughter (PG)
Starring: Katie Holmes, Marc Blucas, and Michael Keaton
Director: Forest Whitaker

Jerry O'Connell's first screenplay is directed by Forest Whitaker and stars Katie Holmes. She may not be able to compete with the walking dead but man is she cute! Just look at her! Plus you know Bruce Wayne is the president, right? Okay, so Mandy Moore covered this comically a few months back but come on! Don't you wanna see Katie Holmes?

The Last Shot (R)
Starring: Matthew Broderick, Alec Baldwin, Toni Collette, and Tim Blake Nelson
Director: Jeff Nathanson (Also Screenplay)

Intriguing premise behind this one and it has my curiosity piqued, only... this isn't the best weekend for its release. Not with the aforementioned irresistible Katie Holmes on the weekend slate. This story is based on an FBI sting operation in 1987. A filmmaker (Broderick) is given free reign to make his own film but the catch is that it has to be set in Providence, Rhode Island because the FBI is using the production to try and nab some mobsters. Baldwin plays the FBI heavy and Tony Shalhoub a mobster. Still, it just doesn't have Katie Holmes in it.

The Forgotten (R)
Starring: Julianne Moore, Dominic West, Gary Sinise, and Anthony Edwards
Director: Joseph Ruben

The trailer for this film gave away WAY TOO MUCH! TMI! What might have been a scary film now comes across as silly and what might have been a plot twist seems all-too predictable and I haven't even set foot in the theatre. Let this serve as a lesson to wannabe filmmakers and marketeers--don't put out a trailer that reveals too much plotline. And don't attach the trailer to every stinking movie for the last five years. It can only glean disappointment. Besides that, this movie doesn't have Katie Holmes in it either.

The Motorcycle Diaries (R)
Starring: Gael Garcia Bernal, Mia Maestro, and Mercedes Moran
Director: Walter Salles

I have no idea what this movie is about, but it has to be better than a John Waters' film! Even without Katie Holmes in it.

A Dirty Shame (NC-17)
Starring: Tracey Ulman, Selma Blair, and Chris Isaak
Director: John Waters

Just in case you've never noticed it before, I list new releases and new release DVDs in order based on my desire to see them. Anything with John Waters as its director brings up the rear.

I have never seen a John Waters movie I liked. An old girlfriend told me, "You've got to see Hairspray!" I just gagged. I've seen way too many of his films already. One is too many. I thought Cry Baby was the worst movie I'd ever seen but then I saw Pecker and changed my mind. I thought Pecker was the worst movie of all time, but then I saw Serial Mom. Then I thought Serial Mom was the worst flick of all time, but then I saw Cecil B. Demented. Let's face it, the guy's movies keep getting progressively worse. I don't know, maybe Hairspray is brilliant but everything else he's ever made is so awful I just don't want to risk three bucks on a rental. And I dang sure don't want to waste seven bucks on a new film. Fear not! It is in limited release. That's just one step shy of straight-to-video in case you were wondering. The only way I'd watch this film would if the oft-mentioned Katie Holmes were somehow involved.

Alas... There's only one Katie Holmes movie this weekend. Thank goodness it happens to be a Forrest Whitaker film.