Waiting on Deck

Vanity Fair (PG-13)
Starring: Reese Witherspoon, James Purefoy, Eileen Atkins, and Jim Broadbent
Director: Mira Nair

This film has already been to the plate! It opened this past Wednesday to FAIR reviews, including a pair of thumbs for Ebert and Roeper. This sort of thing isn't my bag baby, but maybe its yours.

Paparazzi (PG-13)
Starring: Cole Hauser, Tom Sizemore, Robin Tunney, and Dennis Farina
Director: Paul Abascal

So here we have Mel Gibson producing a typical Mel Gibson film. The lead character starts off as this really swell guy with an even sweller family until the inciting incident. Then Mel gets mad and then Mel gets even. From Road Warrior to Ransom, this looks like classic Gibsonian flair except for one thing--there is no Mel. Cole Hauser will be playing the role of Mel Gibson this time around. Me? If it were Mel I'd probably go see it, but since it is not...

The Cookout (PG-13)
Starring: Danny Glover, Queen Latifah, Farrah Fawcett, and Tim Meadows
Director: Lance Rivera

I won't go see this one either. Never has a movie cried out "Wait until it comes to cable! Wait for cable!" I doubt I'll even want to see it then.

Wicker Park (PG-13)
Starring: Josh Hartnett, Matthew Lillard, and Diane Kruger
Director: Paul McGuigan

While it used to be called romance, it is now formally known as stalking and it is considered a crime. I'm still not sure it necessitates an entire film, though.

Limited Releases: Persons of Interest & Red Lights

This time of year is the black whole of cinema entertainment. Right now your best bet is either Napoleon Dynamite or Hero. It is as if Hollywood completely disregards the consumer this time of year. I don't know, maybe they don't think they can compete with high school football? If you've ever wondered how a mediocre film like My Big Fat Greek Wedding was able to capture such a huge bank, you need only look at the wretched stuff getting released nationwide low these past several weeks.